70's #1's: Donny Osmond: "Go Away Little Girl"

Number one on September 24, 1971

NOTE: This song first reached number one on September 11th, 1971 and was the biggest tragedy ever on that date until some 30 years later.

This tune is the quintessential embodiment of the early '70s bubblegum pop phenomenon. This song is a remnant of the era when manufactured teen idols reigned supreme, a relic that feels as contrived as the saccharine lyrics it features.

Osmond, with his cherubic face and meticulously polished image, was the perfect vehicle for this kind of musical confection. The song itself is a cover, originally recorded by Steve Lawrence and later by The Happenings, but Osmond's version is perhaps the most insipid of them all. The track is a lightweight, fluff-filled ballad that lacks any real substance or emotional depth.

From the opening notes, "Go Away Little Girl" assaults the listener with a syrupy melody that is as predictable as it is forgettable. Osmond's delivery is earnest, yet it fails to inject any genuine feeling into the song. The lyrics, which revolve around a young boy trying to ward off the advances of a girl to remain faithful to his partner, are painfully trite and dated.

Critically, the song has not aged well. It stands as a stark reminder of an era when music was mass-produced to cater to the teenage market, often at the expense of quality and originality. While Osmond's legions of fans might have swooned at his boyish charm and clean-cut image, the song itself is a musical equivalent of cotton candy: sweet, fluffy, and ultimately devoid of any lasting impact.

John Lennon once criticized Paul McCartney for writing "granny music," but even McCartney's most whimsical compositions have layers of complexity and charm that "Go Away Little Girl" sorely lacks. There's no trace of innovation here, no hint of the rebellious spirit that marked much of the era's best music. Instead, what we get is a manufactured pop product designed to exploit Osmond's fleeting teenage appeal.

In conclusion, "Go Away Little Girl" is a banal, uninspired track that serves as a historical footnote in the annals of pop music. It reminds us of a time when the music industry was all too willing to prioritize marketability over artistry. It's a song best left in the past, remembered only as a curious artifact of the bubblegum pop era.